Three Experiments for Catalyzing Self-Trust

Reading Time: 12 minutes

I Don’t Know…

These three words are powerful. I hear them often in my conversations with womxn, and I’ve thought, spoken, even screamed them many times, too. I’ve noticed that feeling disconnected from our knowing is a theme for womxn and that it often stems from self-doubt. Feeling resourced and connected to our knowing stems from self-trust. It’s clear to me after decades of healing, both experienced and observed, that catalyzing self-trust is one of the foundational elements in revolutionary healing.

Origins

I remember struggling with decisions—big and small—in my youth: Should I buy the shirt, take the class, break up with […]

Alchemizing Healing with Our Symptoms

Reading Time: 14 minutes

The conversations I have with women—clients, friends, and healers—illuminate the commonalities we share in our healing processes. If you’re a return reader you know I share my personal process at times, a process which I know has no end. I will always be healing, evolving, transforming. This is true for anyone on a healing path. It’s one of a handful of universal healing principles I’m realizing through my process and my work.

Recently some uncomfortable (and old) symptoms returned to my body and reminded me of this truth once again. I am always in process. A conversation with my homeopath about these symptoms […]

On All-or-Nothing Thinking

Reading Time: 9 minutes

Do the words in this picture resonate for you?

They resonate for a younger version of me. And, they still resonate for me sometimes, although to a lesser degree and in different ways than when I was younger.

The holidays often bring up all-or-nothing thinking and doing for folks, especially around health—food, exercise, and alcohol are at the center of holiday festivities, whether we’re together or alone together in a pandemic.

All-or-nothing thinking and doing can arise from many parts of ourselves and our lives. Here I briefly outline possible origins of all-or-nothing thinking and […]

When You’re Climbing the Walls: Cultivating Flow in the Nervous System

Reading Time: 13 minutes

I posted this photo on Instagram recently and wondered if any of you, like me and my kitty, are climbing the walls? For me, climbing the walls is another way to say that my body and my mind are feeling the effects of stored stress physiology. It’s as if my body has one foot on the gas pedal (fight or flight) and one foot on the breaks (freeze), and it leaves me feeling both activated and exhausted, electric and burned out. I’m acutely aware how this space and this time are challenging my nervous system in new and profound ways AND giving me the opportunity to […]

Why It’s Hard for Women to Trust Our Bodies (and Why it Matters)

Reading Time: 11 minutes

“Trust your body more,” my husband offered during my moment of anxiety last week. “Think less.”

“I love it when you hand my words back to me,” I replied knowingly and appreciatively. He smirked. My husband often reminds me of what I already know and what I sometimes lose touch with when my nervous system gets triggered and old patterns come for a visit.

More and more I trust my body, and dwelling in this space of trust has been one of the most transformative shifts on my healing journey. Life continues to offer opportunities to deepen and expand this trust, which is where I am now—a moment of opportunity. I know […]

Nothing Is Wrong With You

Reading Time: 9 minutes

I wrote these words for my community of letter subscribers recently, and I’m sharing them here now, because womxn told me they needed to hear it.

Do you ever wonder if you’re OK? Do you ever think or feel like something is wrong with you?

This used to be one of my patterns of thinking, a trauma adaptation and a product of the subconscious belief that I was broken. Through my personal healing and my work with other healing womxn, I came to know that I was not alone. Womxn breathe the air of our patriarchal culture, which programs us to question our bodies, our feelings, our thoughts, our Selves. We’re conditioned to question our OK-ness in other ways, too. […]

How Do You Decide?

Reading Time: 5 minutes

Our family had an important decision to make this week. For the first time in a long time, I struggled to connect with what felt good and right for me and my family.

Despite the challenge, there were nuggets of goodness in this process. One was the reminder of my continuous evolution. I realized the uncomfortable sensations and feelings that accompanied this process, while distantly familiar, are no longer an everyday thing. For me, the “Big D” feelings that understandably come with Big D (or seemingly life-altering) decisions plagued me even with inconsequential decisions. Another nugget of goodness was the opportunity to take a coaching approach with myself. After some time spinning my […]

More on Free Thinking: Questioning with Empathy and Compassion

Reading Time: 9 minutes

I’m an empath who’s still learning to find my edge. Empathy and sensitivity are superpowers when wielded well, but this superpower can feel like a heavy weight when I’m unclear about  where I end and others begin. Boundaries are essential.

I’ve been feeling this weight a lot lately, which is a signal for me to return to myself. One way I do this is through journaling and writing. Putting words on paper creates space for my truth and my edge to emerge. One of my readers gave me some touching feedback this week—she told me to keep writing; that the world needs to hear what I have to say. I hope that when […]

Delivered to My Healing

Reading Time: 4 minutes

I love this picture of my mom and me.

When I was younger, this photo reminded me that my mom was not only my mom. I could glimpse her as a daughter, a sister, a wife, a friend, a co-worker, and a woman with experiences, feelings, needs, and interests of her own, independent of me. I was in awe of this and of her.

My mom always laughed when she talked to her best friend. She still does. When I was young, this felt like another glimpse into my mom as not only my mom. She was someone else, too. And that felt good. I felt her laughter in […]

We Need Free Thinkers

Reading Time: 12 minutes

Hippie (noun): a person, typically young, especially in the late 1960s and early 1970s, who believed in peace, was opposed to many of the accepted ideas about how to live, had long hair, and often lived in groups and took drugs.

My daughter’s tween friends recently labeled her “the hippie” of their group. While part of me cringed at the act of assigning a label, part of me cheered inside. I suspect they weren’t referring to the long hair or the drugs. I suspect, rather, that they connected my almost-twelve-year-old with the idea that hippies don’t conform to societal norms. This, I think, can be […]