Capable, Creative, and Whole
One of the primary foundations in coaching is that the client is her own best expert. In addition, the client is inherently resourceful and complete–she need not be fixed, because she’s not broken. That means coaches don’t give advice or information unless requested or permitted. Rather, coaches listen deeply, validate and reflect what they hear, and they ask powerful questions that welcome curiosity, self-exploration, and learning. In this way, the coach supports the client in finding her own answers.
How often have you offered your opinion or advice during a conversation without asking if it’s wanted? And, how often does it happen to you? How does it feel?
When we step in to offer ideas or instructions, it’s often because we feel a need to fix, a desire to be useful, or even a discomfort with someone’s difficult emotions. The more we hold others in a light of inherent creativity and wholeness (and let go of our ego), the less we feel compelled to step in and fix. Instead, we’re more able to connect and support. What might happen if you ask your partner whether she needs your input or just a listening ear? How might your conversations change if you pause before offering your ideas and ask how you can show up and support?