I shared my first ever course with a small group of womxn in June. For months prior I’d been envisioning a workshop, ideas flowing from pen to paper in random spots in my journal. At some point I realized I had more than a workshop in those notes, which were a culmination of my personal healing experience, my professional training, and my education. So, six womxn gathered with me virtually, mid-pandemic, to explore the foundations for a course in self-awareness. This trial run—and their invaluable feedback on the course format and content—led me to the version of Self-Awareness | The Course that I’ve been sharing with womxn the last two weeks. It feels uncomfortable to say so out loud (we’re too often conditioned to be reserved with our self-promotion) but I’m proud of this course, and I’m so excited to share it with you all. That’s the first truth.
Also the Truth
The other truth that is uncomfortable to speak out loud: no womxn have signed up for the course yet.
Why am I sharing this uncomfortable truth? I’ve been reflecting on my aim in life and work, which is always to catalyze revolutionary healing for womxn. This often involves sharing my own process, which I do after checking in with myself and with what feels good and right and true for me as well as with what may be potentially supportive for womxn. Sometimes this means sharing my process when I’m in it. Sometimes it means processing more on my own and offering insights here or on Instagram only when I feel a bit more clear and/or grounded. I believe in this approach; that is, I believe that creating boundaries around what I share and when I share it is a healthy thing. This does not negate my authenticity.
Boundaries and authenticity are not mutually exclusive. Indeed, they thrive with one another.
And, in this case, after checking in, it felt good and right and true to share the truth of where I am right now while I’m IN IT and still a bit unclear about it all, especially because it might be supportive for other womxn.
Me, Right Now
I see myself as a healing catalyst. I am passionate about transformational conversations and connections. I love doing the work and play of healing our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls. But I don’t like selling or marketing it. When I returned to my work after a long break for healing and mothering, I committed myself to flowing. That is, I intended for my business to evolve organically and with ease. Being the business doesn’t always feel like flow in my body, but being a healing catalyst does.
So, this is where I am right now : I’m doing the inner work of staying connected to this flowing feminine energy and also allowing space for the masculine energy of structure and planning. I’m deep in exploring the relationships I have with abundance and personal power as they relate to my business especially, and I’m learning how to embody these sensations and feelings that I spent years disconnected from. I’ve ushered unconscious blocks and self-protective strategies into my awareness, and I’m dwelling there. This stuff is my jam. But, it’s not the only place to create shifts in how my course is received and engaged with. So yesterday I reached out and asked for help with some of those logistical pieces (like marketing), because that’s NOT my jam. I’m sure there are other pieces to the puzzle that aren’t yet in my awareness as well. I trust those will come.
Take-Aways
It might be that this course doesn’t take off in October, and while I feel sad when I consider that possibility, I also know and trust that it will eventually. I may just have a bit more work and learning to do before the universe is ready to say YES.
Right now Self-Awareness|The Course has countless hours of content, practices, tools, heart and soul within it, and that will all continue to evolve and grow with my continued learning and with each womxn that joins the course. Every womxn that participates will be part of the herstory and evolution of the course.
Since I’m processing with you, these are my take-aways today :: Remember the both/and, the nuance of any and all situations and people. We can be boundaried and authentic. We must look within and outside of ourselves. There is almost always more than one cause of, one answer to, or one way to approach our challenges, our questions, our process. And, always, we must keep checking in with ourselves. It felt good and right and true for me to share this today, especially because I know my words might find their way to another witchy healing catalyst like me who’s healing and learning through the birthing of a business and through sharing her gifts with the world.
I’d love to hear…what are your take-aways?
