If you read Where It All Began, you may see, as I do, that the good and the hard things in my life have been delivering me to this work for myself and others. I took what initially felt like a few detours along the way, and I stumbled (and righted myself) too many times to count. But, in doing so, I’m learning to strengthen my wholeness and embrace myself as my own healer. And, I’m learning how I can serve others on their own healing journeys as well.
Healing is just that – a continuous, non-linear journey. I’ll admit that when I received my Lyme diagnosis in 2014, after decades of healing work, a part of me thought I was nearing an endpoint. In a way, I was. But it wasn’t the end of my healing, it was the end of a phase. I’m in a different phase of healing today than I was ten years ago or even one year ago, but the healing never ends. The lessons I’ve learned come around again and again, sometimes through physical or emotional symptoms, so that I may deepen my learning. Healing isn’t easy and often feels messy, confounding, and just plain crummy, especially when we encounter perceived setbacks. Even when I feel well in mind, heart, body, and spirit, life continues to present me with opportunities that will strengthen my wholeness. Healing happens when we show up for it.
To be clear, my process and timeline on this journey is different than yours, and yours is different than anyone else’s. And yet I believe it’s important to share our stories. Through someone’s story, we connect not only with them, but with ourselves and the ways we may align with our own healing. So, I share my story not to suggest that my remedies will be yours. Rather, I offer my story so that you can stay curious about new possibilities, explore your own healing, and of course, learn a little bit more about me!
So, grab a cup of something you love, stay curious, and read on…
Early in my healing, I was laser focused on my body, because it felt like my body was betraying. me. Food and supplements, in particular, felt like something I could control when I had too many unanswered questions, and many of my body’s systems seemed to be failing. It’s not lost on me now how this mirrored my earlier experience with anorexia and presented me with the opportunity to heal the deeper issues behind my disease in a way I hadn’t before. And while food and supplements are invaluable for healing, a wise practitioner told me early on that “diet is important, but it’s not everything.” That practitioner was one of the first homeopaths I worked with who wisely recommended meditation in addition to his homeopathic prescriptions. He knew what I didn’t quite grasp at the time: Healing is, first and foremost, an inside job. My body wasn’t betraying me; it was bringing attention to what needed healing.
A network of practitioners, teachers, and other healing women supported me in growing this internal capacity for healing. Under the wing of a functional medical doctor, a trusted healing mentor, and a homeopath (among many others), I began to uncover what was happening inside my body and, ultimately, remember the innate healing wisdom inside of me. My lived experience, as well as the stories of other revolutionary healers, taught me that in order to strengthen our wholeness and integrate mind, heart, body, and spirit, we must strengthen our self-awareness, self-love, self-trust, and self-expression. These have become the four foundational components upon which all of my healing flourishes. It sounds so simple, and I suppose it is. But, it’s not easy work. These are principles that I understood decades ago, but actually aligning with them in my life – well, that is something I’m working on every day. Exactly how my body finally healed certain “unhealable” conditions might be viewed by some as a mystery. Indeed, there is so much that science can’t explain about healing. I have the unique perspective of being with this body every day, though, and one thing I know for sure is that my healing capacity began to flourish when I focused on these four pillars of healing.
All of this came after years of hard work, some small improvements in health, and what felt like plenty of challenges. The hard work and small improvements came through those diet changes, yes, among many other things. I still avoid foods that trigger inflammation, and I eat organic, whole foods as much as possible. At the same time, I still appreciate a good craft cocktail and a crunchy corn chip with guacamole. Supplements have been essential, too, since I wasn’t absorbing or assimilating nutrients during so many years of exocrine pancreatic insufficiency, SIBO, and overall dysbiosis. Autoimmunity as well as blood sugar and hormone issues, chronic pain, low blood pressure, numbness and tingling, and so many other symptoms continued, however, despite countless days and dollars spent on acupuncture, chiropractic, and more. When I was finally diagnosed with Lyme, I’d done enough research to know that homeopathy was the next step I wanted to take to target the infection.
I’d taken a lot of homeopathic remedies by 2017 and worked with a few different homeopaths, but that year one remedy shifted something so deeply inside of me that routine bloodwork showed all of my autoimmune markers were negative and my pancreas was making enzymes for the first time in well over six years. It sparked a healing crisis of sorts: My nervous system went into a state of sympathetic activation and my heart rate went up to 100 beats per minute, staying there for weeks. I had no idea what was happening at the time. But it was a gift, again, in the end, as it opened up new doors to learning about brain rewiring, nervous system regulation, and trauma-healing that I’d never known existed. This phase of my healing gave me the body and brain-based tools I needed that, along with the four foundational components I’d been exploring, planted the seeds for lasting change and continuous revolutionary healing. I ultimately earned that my illness (and my healing) was less about Lyme, and more about the overall health of my nervous system. As I continue to build capacity in my nervous system, the more I am fertile ground for healing.
This Is How I Heal
All the practitioners and healing modalities that have propelled my healing along have been invaluable. But even natural remedies can be a band-aid on our symptoms if we’re continuing to live in the same internal and external environments in which we got sick, depressed, addicted, unwell (insert your “dis-ease”). For too long I was seeking outside myself for something that had to emerge from within. Healing can be a mysterious marriage of art and science, yet I have the unquestionable knowing that I was propelled into healing when I began to dive deep into the four foundations that would support all my other work. Even when my ego thought I was ready for it, healing had its own timeline that called for more time first. It brings to mind the well-known quote “when the student is ready, the teacher will appear.” Each of my symptoms was a teacher that I could choose to learn from or not, but they all appeared when they needed to, when I was ready. I believe that, had I taken that catalyzing homeopathic remedy before I’d done the deep inner work of self-awareness, self-love, self-trust, and self-expression, the positive changes mayn’t have been long-lasting.
Resources for You!
This is only a fraction of the healing therapies, modalities, and resources that I’m passionate about or have referenced above. Click on the links to learn more!
Music – no link here! Just turn on your favorite songs and jam.